Someone please hit me so hard!!!!

Or slap me on the back of my head or punch me in the stomach or face. I bet you want to know why I am opening invitations to give me a good beating, and I am sure you probably don't care, because you just don't know how to get here fast enough to happily accept the invitation. Well, let me tell you, I was just not in the best of moods today, and took it out on someone that I really should've not. I was snappy and mean. I was slightly frustrated by my snappiness which made me more snappy and bitchy. Then I thought about it, and I know it's going to bother me until I see them again and make up for it if I can. But how? I have to dwell on these damn "emotions" and be bothered for a really long while.I was never an expert in realizing exactly when to push people away. Closeness freaks me out. I am very close to my friends,I dont have many, two really close and dear ones and would never ever push them away. In fact, if they try to go away( when we kinda fight), I try as hard as I can to keep them from doing just that. But there are some people that I just want to have so close, yet it seems the closer I want them,and the closer they tried to get, the harder I try to push them away. Seriously, someone, tell me, what's wrong with me?Pardon me while I go and scream into a pillow!