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About Me

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My interest and insights have changed over the years, things are not what they used to be, things are not what they really seem to be, life is much more than what we perceive it to be, my blog is my attempt to understand and share some of my thoughts that are expressible. Happily married, mother of two amazing little people...

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Another milestone

So November 21! 27 years old! Wow how time going by so quickly...
Time indeed waits for no man.
Had a quiet feast at home with my family, they tried their very best to make me happy so I don't miss my husband so much...
Life is so strange though, I've spent 23 birthdays with these folks, 4 with hubby, and yet birthday wasn't the same without him around....
Anyways, I'm thankful for everything, my parents who made me who I am today, my family, my kids, my husband, and all those loved ones who take their time out to see how I'm doing etc...
Here is my gift to you, cake!!
Love you guys!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

It's almost two weeks since hubby gone to pakistan for his fellowship in orthopedics, it's a 9 months stint.
Kids and I are at my folks for the while. Time is so not going by though I'm just hoping this all end soon.
On the brighter side technology keeps us connected these days in such amazing ways, baby facetime with her dad ever so often so at least for kids sake they are able to see and hear him.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Almost there!

So it's almost that time for the greatest challenge of my life.
Hubby have to go to Pakistan to complete his fellowship for an entire year and that means huge adjustments to our lives. Kids and I shall be staying at my parents for the while. I'm not too keen about Pakistan anyways.
I have some plans while he will be away, let's see how it all turns out.

Monday, September 03, 2012


So on the 6th September it's officially our first family vacation! I'm so excited. I'm sure princess will have loads of fun at the beach. We will be spending the few days in Barbados nestled right on the lovely Caribbean sea

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Ramadan 2012

The blessed month of Ramadan came and is almost over in a twinkle. Such a sad tale. It's true what they say, muslims are the only folks in this world who are extremely excited for a month of no food and deeply sad when the month is over. But one who truly understand the benefits and blessings to be harvested, then one can truly understand.
This was my first Ramadan fasting again after a break for 3 years for pregnancies and breast feeding.
Lastly, I would love to wish every single Muslim a very happy Eid and pray that Allah accept all of our struggles, sacrifices, good deeds and forgive and overlook our mistakes.
May Allah also bless us to see another Ramadan inshallah so we can strive to become better Muslims. Also let us continue to carry on our ramadan good deeds to our every day routine. Every day should be like Ramadan!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Baby number two!

Year 2011, baby number two due to arrive November ending.
Many a times I've had contractions only to have it subside before I decide to go to the hospital.
Late November checkups and I was told by doctor in 6 cm dilated..
Yes 4 cm more to go before baby can arrive. I was excited because I knew the time is almost here.
Time roll on and still contractions came and went, nothing intense.
It was almost the ending of December, December 21, 2011, when contractions became very intense. I was timing the time apart along with mom and hubby.
By 8 am next morning, December 22, all contractions ceases again. I was becoming tired of this game.
Hubby left for work and as soon as he went thru the door, there again intense contractions. I thought this is it now and I went and took a shower and got dressed for hospital.
By 10 am, I was at hospital, having checkups from midwife on duty. My doctor was at the airport to receive some visitors for Xmas.
Pain was excruciating, I was thinking how different this is from my first baby,
Regular checkups and still no dilation, and also no doctor yet, just midwives.
By 2pm( yes so long labour) I started to pass meconium ( early stool of infant) which meant baby was distressed. Also baby heart rate was slowing, I was immediately given oxygen mask and it was no fun trying to stay still with that on and contractions like crazy.
My midwife finally broke my water bag because baby need to get out if distressed and still baby not descending and dilutions stuck at 6cm!
By 3 pm after a check up I was fully dilated, suddenly it was like a miracle.
If I wasn't dilated by 3pm they were taking me to theatre for c section. I was praying for that to not happen.
So after sudden full dilation and severe contractions I was told to start pushing, even though baby not descending and I'm still with oxygen mask on.
While all this was going on I wasn't able to contact hubby or mommy who was at our house with big baby. Last thing I SMS hubby was about the c section possibility and he got instant headache about it, so he was waiting on doctor to get there to get a final opinion.
Doctor walked in about 4 pm and I was almost having no contractions now, and I had no strength to carry on.
I was given oxytocin drips to bring on more contractions and boy were they severe. Finally after two more hours o torture my baby boy came 6 15 pm! I was glad it was all over, baby was rushed to incubator because of him being distressed for a long time inside me and to be checked by a pediatrician for the severity of meconium he consumed while inside me.
After hubby and mommy weren't communicating with me for a while, mommy came over to the hospital to check what's going on while hubby stayed home to watch big baby, only to find baby boy being rushed out of delivery room.
Oxytocin drops was still on me since I was told I need to have all the dose even though baby is out so I was having contractions with no baby to push. I was literally lifeless and weak and could not walk an inch.
I didn't saw my baby and I was hoping he's fine.
Had to sleep over at the hospital that night.
Hubby came after mom told him baby is born, big baby was left in care of a neighbor.
It was such an emotional turmoil.
I saw my son at 11pm that night! Fell in love instantly and from that moment on everything about him reminded me of our big baby.
But after that experience, I'm thankful to be blessed with a daughter and a son, and thank god I'm not having another baby!

Monday, July 09, 2012

Wedding weekend

So another cousin from the marriageable clan got married yesterday, she looked amazingly stunning! Awww I just love weddings! Can't believe it's almost 4 years since I got married, felt like it was just the other day...
Babies were grumpy all the while though, they missed their comfort zone.
So this post is to wish the newlyweds all the very best and everything good a marriage have to offer.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Baby number 1 , part two

At midnight, at the hospital, I'm hardly able to compose myself. I don't even have words to explain how that felt. The nurse was very kind and sympathetic, checking baby heartbeat in my tommy ever do often.
All I wanted to know is, how long more before baby comes, how long more do I be in this condition!
Hubby went back home by 2 am to get some much needed rest since the coming day will be a long one. I was happy to be alone so I won't be too embarrassed to express my pain in whatever way I want. I remember when contractions subside and I felt normal, I went on my room balcony for a breath of fresh air, and there contractions started, me 3am in the balcony screaming out...
Hubby predicted baby will arrive in the morning by 8 am, and trust me that seem years away to arrive.
Time slowly moved on, by 5am my doctor came and she examined me again. I was extremely happy to hear the words " girl, ur ready". She meant I was fully dilated and ready to have my baby. Anxious and growing weak with the intense contractions I was made to lay in the delivery bed. I was thinking this is it now, still trying to understand how something so huge as a baby will pass out via birth canal!
The pushing began with my doctor"s instructions and coaching, hubby by my left side holding my hands and helping me up with each contractions so I may be in a better position to push, mom on my right side, she just made it in time to be there for the birth.
After some minutes struggling there with pushing and panting, I was helped off the bed to do some floor squats. Baby was not coming down it seem. It was even more unbearable, I just wanted this to be over really soon.
Time went by going back and forth with this routine until I finally heard doctor said " I can see your baby head, your almost there! Come on give it your all next contraction, ur doing awesome"!
I panted, strained, pushed and finally my baby came, 6 30am!
It was the most amazing feeling ever to see her little eyes looking right at me when she was placed in my arms as soon as she's out, as though she's saying thank you mommy. At this point I was overwhelmed with emotions and the tears just fall like never, and I lay there trembling after all the hard work, hubby still holding me.
Hubby and mom left delivery room with the nurse to overlook our new baby girl, and to call azan in her ears, while I was being cleaned up and prepare to go back to my hospital room, out of delivery room...
I felt tired, weak, hungry and sleepy, anxious, overwhelmed and excited for a brand new chapter of our lives.

Baby Zahra Maryam Khan 2010,June 08th!

Baby number 1, June 7th, 2010

So I was in my 34th week of pregnancy, June 7th2010. I went to clinic for regular check ups. Sat there waiting almost all afternoon on the doctor who was out doing a delivery. Finally at 5 pm I was able to see her, and for the first time since being pregnant doctor was to perform a physical examination. Lo and behold, to my surprise, dr told me "grab your bags and head to the hospital young lady". I was totally shocked, is this how easy it is to have a baby?? I was feeling no pain whatsoever.
Anyways I waked home (5 mins away) and told hubby who was preparing to work shift 6 pm to 6 am. He was even more surprised because we were expecting baby on June 18 and after. He still had to head off to work until he find another doctor to replace him and come back home to be with me, an he did so about 10 pm. Now slowly I was getting contractions bearable now and then, was nothing to worry about. Meanwhile mom was preparing to travel up by 3 am, I wanted her to be with me.
By 11pm contractions were unbearable and getting closer to each other, hubby wanted me to relax because he said baby won't come so soon, I'm in labour and if I go hospital I'll still have to wait until its the time, so might as well wait at home. I disregard the fact that he's a doctor himself and could care less what he said, I wanted to go to the hospital. We finally went at 12am man I was in total pain, something g I've never experienced in my life!

To be continued

Monday, June 25, 2012


Hey guys, hows everyone doing? So I'm hoping to start blogging again for the zillionth time! I'm currently working on writing my delivery experiences for both my babies! Yes I've got another baby since I last blog