At midnight, at the hospital, I'm hardly able to compose myself. I don't even have words to explain how that felt. The nurse was very kind and sympathetic, checking baby heartbeat in my tommy ever do often.
All I wanted to know is, how long more before baby comes, how long more do I be in this condition!
Hubby went back home by 2 am to get some much needed rest since the coming day will be a long one. I was happy to be alone so I won't be too embarrassed to express my pain in whatever way I want. I remember when contractions subside and I felt normal, I went on my room balcony for a breath of fresh air, and there contractions started, me 3am in the balcony screaming out...
Hubby predicted baby will arrive in the morning by 8 am, and trust me that seem years away to arrive.
Time slowly moved on, by 5am my doctor came and she examined me again. I was extremely happy to hear the words " girl, ur ready". She meant I was fully dilated and ready to have my baby. Anxious and growing weak with the intense contractions I was made to lay in the delivery bed. I was thinking this is it now, still trying to understand how something so huge as a baby will pass out via birth canal!
The pushing began with my doctor"s instructions and coaching, hubby by my left side holding my hands and helping me up with each contractions so I may be in a better position to push, mom on my right side, she just made it in time to be there for the birth.
After some minutes struggling there with pushing and panting, I was helped off the bed to do some floor squats. Baby was not coming down it seem. It was even more unbearable, I just wanted this to be over really soon.
Time went by going back and forth with this routine until I finally heard doctor said " I can see your baby head, your almost there! Come on give it your all next contraction, ur doing awesome"!
I panted, strained, pushed and finally my baby came, 6 30am!
It was the most amazing feeling ever to see her little eyes looking right at me when she was placed in my arms as soon as she's out, as though she's saying thank you mommy. At this point I was overwhelmed with emotions and the tears just fall like never, and I lay there trembling after all the hard work, hubby still holding me.
Hubby and mom left delivery room with the nurse to overlook our new baby girl, and to call azan in her ears, while I was being cleaned up and prepare to go back to my hospital room, out of delivery room...
I felt tired, weak, hungry and sleepy, anxious, overwhelmed and excited for a brand new chapter of our lives.
Baby Zahra Maryam Khan 2010,June 08th!